I Am Superman
by Damianhelmsley
Summary: Life through the eyes of our favorite reporter. Rated M for Lois
1. Chapter 1

My name isn't the important part of this story, because I have a lot of names.

The people call me a god, my mother calls me son, My father calls me Kal. I call myself Clark, Clark Kent. But they call me Superman.

*line break*

I slam the office door shut as the clock strikes eight AM. I adjust my glasses as I turn and walk towards my desk. It's a small cubicle in the center of a crowded room filled with restless souls who are working from nine to five to sustain a family, to pay rent, to save up from something better, or to find truth.

I sit down on my chair and flip open my computer. A brunette woman passes my desk and smiles at me. Her name is Lois, Lois Lane. The name is a bit cliché but she'll be the first to admit that. She's the hardest worker here and the smartest. Oh yeah she's a two time Pulitzer Prize winning author and if that wasn't enough she's the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

She's broken every single heart here, no one is brave enough to ask her out, because she's tore every poor soul to pieces when they've asked her. I've thought about trying but there's something that keeps me from doing that. My night job.

You know those old campy movies about some hero who can jump really high and is super strong? You know how he always changes in telephone booths? Well I'm not that guy. I change in a bathroom or my apartment. My underwear is not on the outside of my pants. I wear Under Armor briefs, their stretchy and comfortable and their not red. My suit is blue though, but more of a dark navy color. The S is dark red and there is not yellow on my suit.

What are my powers you ask? Well Even I don't know what they all are. All I know is, that I'm really fast, I can lift everything, I can see through everything except for lead, If I want to I can make my breath really cold or really warm, I can hear really well some would even say super well. Oh! Almost forgot I can shoot lasers out of my eyes too.

Yeah I'm pretty over powered. I've seen the message boards, I know how little trolls in their underwear sit behind a computer screen and say I'm too powerful, They call me one dimensional, they say I'm to moral whatever that means, they say I'm really cheesy. But I hope they know at the end of the day this really cheesy, moral, one dimensional, over powered guy, goes out every night and puts my life on the line so you can sit behind a computer and call me stupid.

It's alright though. I do have friends, though their few and far between. No one cares about me. No one cares about this reporter, they care about those billionaires, the attractive ambassadors and the people one magazine covers, but I like it that way.

I bury my head in a story about the Metropolis Metros falling to the Gotham Knights 43-42. I hear shouting and look up to see Lois yelling at some guy. I see her push him away and flip him off. I go back to my work as the hours drag on and on.

My day wasn't to eventful. Perry telling us to be on the lookout for stories about a mysterious bat who keeps breaking criminals bones and leaving them in a pool of blood. I don't like the idea of breaking some ones bones to make them talk. But I also know that I'm sure the "Bat" has different methods than I do, and I can respect that.

Five o clock fast approaches and I finish my story and submit it to the editor. I pick up my coat and computer bag and walk towards the Office door and towards the Elevator. As I walk out of the building I realize that I forgot my computer. Dammit! I think to myself, why the hell did I forget my computer? Oh well, I guess I'll have to go back up and get it, hopefully the door won't be locked.

I finally reach my office and thank God the door was open. I walk in slowly and grab my computer, but I can hear someone in the corner. I walk towards the noise and I see Lois angrily shoving papers into a folder.

"Dammit, Damn men!" She spat, "Why the fuck were they even born?"

I freeze, I've never seen Lois like this before, oh yeah I've seen her pissed but not this pissed. I slowly back away, I get about half way turned around when I hear her voice.

"Clark? Clark Kent? What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Well, I umm, I…I…I came to get my computer."

"I suppose you heard that." I nod my head. "Look I, I'm sorry Clark, I broke up with Brian and I'm just fed up with all these sleaze bags, all these guys are sleaze bags."

"Well to come to the defense of my fellow sleaze bags—

"Shut up Kent! You're the only one here who isn't a sleaze bag."

"Look I don't think everyone else is a sleaze bag."

"You're the only one who doesn't go home and jack off to porn, and then come to this office and hit on me like I'm some sort of slut," she spat, "You probably don't even know what porn is," she muttered.

"That's not True! I know what porn is!"

"What's a blowjob?"

"Umm, well ummm, Look I'd rather not talk about this—

"That's just it!" she yelled, "You're too decent, you're too good."

"I'm…Look you need a break, let's go grab some food and then if you want to talk about anything we can, I'm free tonight," I smile.

"Sounds good smallville."

"Dammit you found out where I'm from."

"I always knew," she smiled, "C'mon let's get out of here."

"Alright," I smile. Normally a night would end with me with my cape on. But right now my friend needs me and I guess Metropolis can fend for herself tonight, because sometimes being a hero isn't punching bad guys, it's eating Chinese takeout and giving a hug when you need too.


	2. Chapter 2

When you think of me you think of a man in blue tights who flies around and punches bad guys into oblivion. While it's nice to have people think you're the greatest and most powerful being ever to breathe it still boggles my mind how one dimensional people think I am.

In school they called me names and made fun of me because I wore glasses and didn't do sports. I was a nerd. Yes, I can stop any bullet and nothing can penetrate my skin, but words, words can. It turns out the very people who I hung out with school, go on message boards and called me overrated and over powered. The last son Krypton is indeed alone.

Well, that's not true, I do have friends. Let's start with the obvious one.

He's the same height as me. He's smart, wicked smart, he's rich and he has dark hair and charming smile when he uses it. oh yeah and he's a billionaire and he's Batman, which when you think about it the only that could trump being a billionaire would be being batman. He's not very friendly, but for a guy who breaks bones for a living I don't think he would be. The nerds on the message boards like to think what would happen if we fought, but neither of us want to fight each other, because at the end of the day I respect him and he respects me.

With most female best friends, guys would ask them for advice about relationships or what to wear or just general life advice, but with Di it's kinda the opposite. Diana is my female best friend, someone who I can text at midnight and she'll reply right back, although with a lot of typos. She's one of the nicest people I've met, she's so nice that you forget she kicked Ares' ass a couple times. Oh yeah clothing, apparently on the greek islands they didn't wear much clothing, and I've often had to explain to her that yes pants and shirts are good things. Since she is drop dead gorgeous a lot of guys stare, which I can kinda understand but still be nice man.

My next friend is the fastest son of a bitch you'll ever meet. Well I'm not exactly sure if his mom is a bitch I haven't met her, but nevermind. Barry Allen the fastest man alive and the biggest mouth alive. Yeah he's the guy who's usually staring at Diana's boobs. Kinda a perv but we all have that perv friend that we can't really seem to get rid off.

But yeah. Where we're we? Oh yeah Lois! Well needless to say I was really busy that night. I heard enough about her love life to write a book. Did you know she lost her virginity when she was 15?! Wow, at fifteen I was popping pimples and trying to avoid getting punched. But I did learn a few things. While she's foul mouthed, abrasive, provocative, she has a good heart and a sense of justice and quick wit. Deep down under that army brat exterior is a good soul who cares about us and everything we believe in.

I did find out that we have similar interests we both hate the Prequel Trilogy and Cyclops. Scott Summers is a real dick. But we love Guns N Roses and Resident Evil, and Chinese food and the face Captain Kirk makes when he's getting his ass kicked. Seriously though, dude stop getting five chins when that happens geez.

But yeah Lois is just someone who has succeeded in every other place in her life except her personal one. Her dad was distant and her mom died two years after she was born. She's tough, but just needs a shoulder to cry on. Yes the most powerful man in the world is very emotional, but so was the Nazarene.

I walk up the stairs to my apartment. With some stroke of luck I managed to nab a top floor apartment. I really helps with jumping and such, but seeing as it's Friday night, I set my bag down and grab my Gibson. Yes I play guitar, it's the one thing my dad could do that wasn't farming or being dad of the year. I learned a lot from him and as my graduation present they bought me this Gibson Les Paul.

I usually go out on the roof and play a couple riffs. Tonight isn't any different. I sit down in a cross legged position and begin to play _Stairway to Heaven_. Nothing to hardcore tonight, I don't feel like an ass kicking song but a soft gentle one will do the trick.

My life isn't easy. Some men choose to be great others have greatness thrust upon them. Okay honestly I don't know what that means, but my dad always said it and it comforts me sometimes when I'm thinking.

Lois Lane, I hope you find peace and someone who appreciates who you are as a person and not how big your boobs are.

A buzz knocks me out of my daze. I look down at my phone, it's Diana. She texted me "What are you up to C?"

"Nothing much Di hbu?"

"Oh nothing I wanted to know if you could make it to the watchtower tomorrow and we could gang out"

"*hang"

I smile to myself, Diana's new to this world and hasn't really gotten the hang of texting. One time she asked to hang out but she typed bang instead of hang. That was a funny five minutes of awkwardness.

"Sure Di," I text back half joking to text her "You mean't bang right ;)" but because, decency I didn't.

Tomorrow will bring what it brings but for tonight I'm content to sit here on my roof and play Voodoo Child.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews and favs they keep me going! To Answer your reviews on pairings, I haven't decided the parings yet I'm just trying to humanize clark here. I know most people are looking for a lemon and maybe one day I'll write one (because I don't think I'm a good enough writer to write a good lemon) but for now this is just a story about our favorite boy in blue.**

The watchtower is what many would consider magnificent feat of engineering and a financial burden, however I call it home. And for better or worse I spend a lot of time there.

Let's go for a tour shall we? The first place you see is the Transporter and J'onn's green face greeting you to the watchtower. As you leave the transporter room you can go left or right. Left is to the quarters, where Diana, Shayera, J'onn, Vic, and Barda live. To the right is the main area.

As a member of the League we all have a room here, but only some of us stay here year round. The league membership has increased a bit since last year but that's okay, I like new faces. The league includes, Me, Bruce, Diana, Hal, Barry, Vic, J'onn, Shayera, Barda, Ollie, Dianah, Zatanna, and this kid named Garfield Logan. The kids nice, but other than that the rest of them are almost always grumbling about something. So when I arrive with a smiling face I usually get scowls and dirty looks.

I walk to the dining hall, my posture ridged and strong, I smile and nod at Shay who flips me off in return. Given my physiology I can eat almost anything and still function, which is great because I can eat a lot of junk food and be fine. So that explains the enormous amount of fried chicken on my plate as I sit down at the cafeteria. After a few minutes of solitary consumption of food, a dark haired tall woman sits down in front of me.

"Hi Di," I smile.

"Clark, it's good to see you again," she replied.

"How's life at the tower?"

"It's been uneventful these last few days but Barry stopped by yesterday and, well you know Barry."

"What did he break?..."

"Umm just, The elliptical, the oven, the dish tray, two keyboards, three doors, my underwear is gone, and oh yeah my Justin Bieber CD," Diana paused, "actually I think that was Bruce."

"I guess I'll try and talk to him."

"Clark you don't have to take it upon yourself to talk to everyone."

"I don't mind it Diana," I said lowering his head, "I am Superman after all."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Clark," warned Diana.

"Okay if you really want to know," I reach down and picked up his phone, "Look at this."

"Superman sucks," Read Diana, "Blue Boyscout is overrated bro, Superman is the worst superhero ever, get an edge Supes, ten things more annoying than Donald Trump number one Superman, Wonder Woman and Superman supercouple, HEY!"

"Okay the last one shouldn't have been there," I smirk, "I thought that one was too funny to pass up."

"I don't know," paused Diana, "I mean we would look great together."

"Diana," I warned.

"I'm teasing silly," She laughed, "but no the internet sucks I have found like a hundred websites dedicated to my breasts."

"Boobs Diana," I shudder, "Call them boobs."

"Why?" she asked, "They are breasts, men have them too."

"Yeah but calling them breasts is just, uncomfortable," I wince.

"Anyway," she warned, "The internet isn't a place where people should be taken seriously, I mean look at reddit," she said picking up my phone, "Just look at reddit, or maybe not," she quickly puts my phone down, "There was a picture of well me."

"What were you doing?" I ask slyly.

"I was flying okay! And the camera angle wasn't the greatest but a few comments seem to beg to differ. They're called cans too?"

"Di…, Yes they are also called cans—

"Men," she growled.

"Look the point is—

"The point is clark that you're the greatest thing that has ever happened to humanity. You're a god and people always rebel against the gods." She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder, "Man has always bit the hand that feeds them, they're hiding behind their own insecurities Clark, don't let there's become your own."

"Thanks Diana."

"You're my best friend Clark of course I'll help you."

"And I'd do the same for you too Diana," I reply.

We both sit there for a few minutes and talk about Lois, Bruce and every other member of the league behind their back until it becomes time to leave. I walk towards the hanger bay and pass a man with a familiar set of lead armor.

His black cowl is laced with an assortment of failsafe measures. His gauntlets are jagged and powerful. His armor is a metallic liquid fiber woven into a symbol for justice and vengeance. He is the man who removed the crooked grin, solved the riddle, and broke the breaker. I've seen him jump before anyone else. He's probably ones of the least powerful here, but he can beat most of us. He is intelligence. He is execution. He is rage. He is vengeance in the rain. He is the crusader for justice. He is Will. He is justice. He is the night. He is Batman.

He looks at me with that famous stern look of his that is almost scanning your being for weakness, emotional, physical, mental, and psychological weakness. He can sense an advantage. He can tell me what I am going to eat for breakfast before I wake up in the morning. Santa's his bitch, because batman knows where everyone is sleeping.

"A little late for lunch don't you think?" he says, in the deep voice that we all know and have come to love.

"I thought bats were nocturnal."

"I thought they taught manners at smallville elementary."

"I thought you were on monitor duty."

"Gave it to Barry."

"He already broke three keyboards."

"He broke two."

"He broke three," I smirk pointing to my eyes, "Wait four."

Bruce glares at me and then goes back to work.

"Who's the girl?"

"What?" I ask surprised.

"The one who's got in a tailspin."

"Umm...there isn't a girl."

"You realize who you're getting into an argument with don't you?"

"Dammit" I whisper under my breath.

"I know you didn't tell Diana because she would have told you, you could've done better, but while it's just me, I'd like you to tell me what you see in miss Lane?"

"So you knew this whole entire time?"

"Really?"

"Fine," I sigh, "I don't know Bruce, I don't –

"figure it out in thirty seconds and then tell me."

"She's just different Bruce, the exact opposite of who I am and that's just, I don't know okay? I, you understand don't you?"

"Understand what it's like to fall completely in love with someone who's your exact opposite?" He pauses and looks down, "I do Clark, I know what it feels like every day."

I look down and nod to him before floating towards the door.

"She loves you Bruce," I say, "More than you'll ever let yourself believe."

Once again Superman to the rescue.


End file.
